Been a long long time since i placed fingers on keypad allowing simple letters to write thoughts like these. Life has brought so much, even too much in 2009 that there was no way in keeping the blog world moving. You could say i took a long sabbath from this medium but circled the world of facebook and twitter many times over.
With the dawn of a new day, new year, and decade, i think i will brave this world again. I sometimes freeze up wondering what i should share, how much is to much, or not enough. I wonder if i should be completely honest or only partially honest, if i should allow the soul the room to roam through words, thought, picture? How much is allowed regarding my personal and public life? Or is that subject to the reader and not the writer? I admit i would like to disclose the deep tides of this heart, knowing some would read and find them normal, refreshingly human, while others, well, others will read them through their own grid which is natural, something you cant control.
Confession: i want to control your responses, reactions, rejections. Be kind but be you. My insecurities act up regularly.
Well, that’s enough for now, more to come later. Need to get ready for a new years eve shin dig.
Confession: I don’t really want to go. Sad but true. The people are great, but i ache for the familiar faces of yesterday. Still finding my way in this new land, wonder if the landscape will burst with flowers among the thistles this year? Maybe I’m watering whats not mine, toiling without prospect of harvest, tending without rooting? Or just maybe this tasteless but filling transformative road i tread will guide me into a land of fresh soil and soul. Here’s to 2010.
For those that i call friends, happy new to you and yours. For those who are strangers, may we bump into each other with our eyes.
Mercy to us all..
g